Domestic abuse -- many search for a way out

Long-sleeve shirts to hide the bruises. His drunken rages. Cut off from family and friends. Fear of retaliation. Walking on eggshells. Ashamed of the situation. Watched like a hawk.
These are just some of the things that ran through one abused woman’s mind as she contemplated her relationship with the man she lived with.
The woman worked in a restaurant, and the man would regularly drop by to say “Hello.” What he was really doing was watching her to make sure she didn’t pay too much attention to any of her male customers. The woman would soon realize that all was not roses, and the friendly visits were not what they appeared to be.
They were invited to an engagement party at a restaurant with the woman’s coworkers, but he spoke to no one while there and drank heavily. Afraid of causing a scene -- and exposing what was going on behind closed doors -- she politely exited with him, and in the parking lot, he accused her of cheating on him. Her coworkers immediately began calling her cell phone, but she turned the ringer off so as not to agitate her boyfriend any further.
That night, she had 33 missed calls on her phone, but she kept it under her pillow so the light would not wake him. At one point, she saw a vehicle pull up on the street in front of the apartment. Knowing it was her friends coming to check on her, she prayed that the liquor had him fast asleep, and that he would not realize someone was at the residence. She slipped out of the bed, covered the light from her phone and texted her friends that she was going to sleep.
The following morning, she woke before him and piled her belongings next to the door. He begged her to stay. Hoping he would follow through on his promises to change, she gave him a second chance. So began the “honeymoon stage” of the domestic violence cycle, being showered with gifts and sweet talk, but like the cycle goes, the tension began to build once again.
Details of the woman’s emotional and physical abuse and how she managed to escape are omitted and changed from this story so as not to identify her, but she was able to leave the state, going where her abuser had no chance of locating her.
It took years for the young woman to finally open up to someone about what she went through, when she finally learned that someone else was brave enough to call the authorities about the man’s abusive ways. All things considered, she now knows she was one of the lucky ones who had escaped with her life.
There have been two domestic violence deaths in St. Landry Parish just this year, and for Allison Prince, Faith House St. Landry Parish outreach advocate, that number is too high.
“I have been with the St. Landry Outreach Office for three years, and things are bad, just bad,” Prince said. “If you hear it (domestic violence) or see it, call the police. It’s not a ‘private matter.’”
In 2013, the local outreach office worked with about 190 domestic violence victims. This year to date, the office has received more than 200 victims, and Prince predicts the number will probably exceed 300 by year’s end.
“I’ve had eight walk ins so far this month,” Prince said. “Many come in for our one on one sessions and a good bit also come in looking for shelter.”
“A Faith House worker came here recently to collect a mother and her children from her lawyer’s office. He (the abuser) was threatening to harm her, and we found a place for them.”
In addition to providing counseling and shelter, Faith House also helps victims acquire food, clothing, health screening, medications, legal assistance and children’s programs.
“We go to court with the women and assist them with getting food stamps, identification and social security cards,” Prince said. “We get them in touch with networking agencies that can help them and support groups. The great thing is that it’s all free.”
During the one-on-one sessions, the outreach director and the victim talk about the situation, from beginning to end, empowerment, questions the victims may have about the charges against their abuser and safety plans for those trying to leave the abusive relationship.
“I’ve been seeing some of the women for two years,” Prince said. “Some are still in the relationship. Others are not. Some don’t know what to do next, say that it is too dangerous to leave. These women are scared for themselves and their children.”
According to Prince, teaching the women she sees, who range in age from 18 to 62, the signs that often lead to abuse is one of the most important goals of the sessions.
Prince and other domestic violence advocates pushed for changes to old state laws and for the addition of new laws during the 2014 Louisiana legislative session. The changes include laws pertaining to providing housing protection for victims of domestic violence, amendments to civil and divorce proceedings for victims of domestic abuse, amendments to the crime of domestic abuse battery, strengthening of protective orders and restrictions on an abusers access to firearms.
“I believe we will see some changes from all this,” she said. “We fought hard for it and went to Baton Rouge for two months to get these things changed.
“There needs to be more awareness. We need to educate people. It will help the community as a whole. People will know what to look for. We need to help these women. Their children, too. We need more education with police, the court system and the community as a whole.”
On the local level, domestic violence arrests by the Eunice Police Department are not yet at the halfway mark for last year’s total of 102 arrests.
“It is a dangerous crime, but the domestic violence fire is burning slow in Eunice,” said Police Chief Ronald Dies. “We need to educate people, and people need to respect each other. Education and respect go hand in hand.”
While domestic violence statistics can include incidents between any people residing in a dwelling together, including family members and female on male abuse, almost 100 percent of the cases worked by the EPD involve violence between two people in a relationship.
“Ours are about half and half -- between a boyfriend and girlfriend or between spouses,” Dies said. “Often, money, alcohol and even drugs are involved in domestic violence situations.”
Last year, EPD arrested 80 individuals on misdemeanor domestic abuse battery charges, and as of Sept. 30 of this year, there were 37 arrests. The number of felony domestic abuse battery arrests has dropped from three last year to one so far this year. Domestic abuse battery with injuries and domestic abuse strangulation arrests were low -- 12 and seven -- last year, and they are low again this year with one and six arrests.
“If we get called out there, someone is getting arrested,” Dies said. “If someone is hurt or we get complaints from neighbors, then someone is going to jail. We don’t put up with that. You will probably go to jail, especially if someone is struck or hurt. There is no such thing as an accident when you hit someone.”
Those arrested on misdemeanor domestic abuse charges must spend a minimum of 24 hours in jail and may stay up to a maximum of 72 hours. Those arrested on felony domestic violence charges must go before a district judge prior to being released. Dismissal of charges may only be granted by the district attorney, assistant district attorney or the city attorney.
“The majority of ones arrested stay here for 48 hours,” Dies said. “After that taste of jail, they don’t want to come back. They see this is where they will be if they keep it up.”
“(When tempers flare) Walk away. Cool off. Return and talk about things civilly. When someone is drinking, it’s not a good time to discuss things. Try to resolve the problems. If you don’t want to be together, go your separate ways. Violence does not solve anything. It just creates more problems.”
While acts of domestic violence peak during the holiday season between Thanksgiving and New Year, Eunice experienced a spike in March of 2011. Two local women lost their lives mere days apart due to domestic violence.
“We took an even stronger stance after those incidents,” Dies said. “If we get a call, you will go to jail. We want people to understand we are not playing around. We do not want to know someone was hurt and we did nothing.”
Felony charges of domestic violence are handled by St. Landry District Attorney’s Office, and misdemeanor domestic abuse cases are handled by the Eunice City Court. Last year, the city court handled 75 dispositions of domestic abuse battery. Of those cases, 45 defendants pleaded guilty to the charges. Twelve cases are pending for various reasons, six are still in progress and another six were nolle prossed (the prosecutor has decided to voluntarily discontinue criminal charges). Three cases were dismissed, and the remaining three cases are labeled failed to appear and bond forfeited, transferred to another court or the defendant died prior to the court date.
This year, as of Sept. 30, there have been 71 dispositions of domestic abuse battery. Thirty-three individuals have pleaded guilty to the charges, while 15 of the cases are still in progress. Twelve of the cases are being held, and six have been dismissed. Four are nolle prossed and one case was transferred to another court.
Susie Peck, St. Landry Parish District Attorney victims assistance coordinator, sees many felony domestic violence victims as well as victims of misdemeanors.
“In many cases of domestic violence, it’s a learned behavior,” Peck said. “The attitude needs to be changed. It is not to be treated like a family matter or not treated as a serious issue. Some of the abusers think it’s okay to abuse a woman because she’s his girlfriend or wife.”
“Louisiana is fourth in the nation for women being killed by someone they know whether it’s a friend, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, husband or ex husband.”
In Peck’s 18 years as coordinator, she has seen an increase in the number of domestic violence victims and an increase in the number of young victims.
“I see about 15 victims a week, but there were not nearly that many when I started working here,” she said.
With the district attorney’s no-drop policy, a domestic violence victim cannot just ask to have the charges dropped. Victims must fill out a request to dismiss form and sign an affidavit. The paperwork is then reviewed by District Attorney Earl Taylor, and the two parties then meet with Taylor and Peck.
“We find out what happened during the incident, if the couple is still together and what will happen with them moving forward,” Peck said. “We do a background check on the defendant and look for priors. We don’t just let them go. Some of the cases are dismissed. Sometimes they (the individuals involved) are in here the day after the incident or if the incident occurred on the weekend, they are in here the following week.”
Peck recalled some of the victims she has worked with.
“One girl had been with her boyfriend for a while, and he abused her constantly,” she said. “There were always charges against him. She would leave him and he would go after her, which is usually what they (abusers) do. He was a young man, clean cut and nice, but it was like there was no part of her body that wasn’t bruised.”
“She left him, and she is doing much better now.”
Another victim gave off the appearance that she was a tough lady not to be trifled with, but when Peck showed her photos police had taken of her following a domestic violence incident, the woman broke down in tears.
“We have had domestic violence deaths in this parish,” Peck said. “It’s just so scary. There are a lot of reasons why women don’t leave their abusers. I feel sorry for all victims, especially the elderly ones. It’s terrible.”
An abuser’s sentence is up to each individual judge, within the minimums and maximums provided by the criminal code, and the punishment can include jail time and programs for anger and substance or alcohol abuse. Those who do not attend the ordered programs will find themselves back in court.
Like Prince, Peck also assists victims with court date escorts, getting food and filing paperwork with the crime victims reparation board to get immediate emergency funds things like for daycare or healthcare. While victims often want counseling for themselves, many also want to get help for the their children as well, if they are present in the situation.
“Children see the abuse and often times become abusers or are abused themselves,” Peck said. “They practice what they see.”
“I wish there were more places for victims to find shelter and even more resources. A lot of the victims are in bad financial situations.”
* If you are someone you know is being abused, call the Faith House 24-hour crisis hotline at 1-888-411-1333.