Adoptive parents seeking late son's birth mother

Barbara and Francis Menard of New Iberia are looking for the birth mother of their adopted son, Thomas.
Although he was a very successful engineer, Barbara said that Thomas changed after a vehicle accident in 1995 caused brain damage that affected his decision-making abilities. A doctor told the Menards the post trauma effects of the accident likely influenced Thomas’ decision to take his own life in April 2011.
The Menards have had stories in newspapers in New Iberia and Lafayette, but no one contacted them with any information. Then something happened near here when Thomas was still alive that made Barbara think Thomas’ natural relatives might be in this area.
Thomas was the oldest of the Menard’s five children -- two of them adopted and three biological. They gave Barbara and Francis, as a 50th anniversary present, a weekend stay in a Washington bed and breakfast.
During that weekend, the Menards ate at the Steamboat Warehouse, and they saw someone there who resembled Thomas so much, she felt she had to talk to him.
She talked to the man she saw at the restaurant, asking about his family. The Menards had found out from the orphanage the name of Thomas’ natural birth grandmother, and that was very similar to the name of the grandmother of the man she saw at the restaurant.
She said that all of a sudden, she became so “awestruck” by what she heard, “I froze,” and was unable to talk with the man any more.
“I’m so upset with myself,” for not finding out more, she said, Recent medical problems have prohibited her from pursuing further leads to finding the man she saw at the restaurant. However the man did provide some leads for her to pursue.
About all the Menards know is that Thomas was born on November 8, 1963, and they adopted him a month later at St. Ann’s Home, a Shreveport home for unwed mothers. The natural mother may have named her son Thomas Edward or Thomas Edwin.
Barbara said Thomas had tried to find records about his natural mother, but he kept quiet about it at first because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. “I told him, ‘If it was me, I’d want the same thing,’” and said she would try to help him.
In Louisiana, the parents of a newborn baby put up for adoption can instruct the state to prohibit information about them from being released to the adopted person or anyone else.
The Louisiana Adoption Support Alliance has been helping the Menards to find the identity of Thomas’ birth mother for several months. That organization’s position is that adopted children don’t have the same rights to information about their natural birth parents as other children do, and that constitutes discrimination against adopted children.
Barbara Menard said if she does find Thomas’ natural birth mother, she’ll struggle with having to tell her he died, but she will be relieved to finally make her aware the son she put up for adoption wanted to know who she was.
She said people can reach her at (337) 519-6666 or (337) 364-5675.